top of page

Listening With the Heart

Updated: May 11

Confidence in relationships: Listen with your heart
'Perceiving'with our hearts

💠 More than two decades ago, I had a situation with a friend where I felt I was hard done by. To be frank it came as the ‘final drop’  after a couple of years of feeling we were not value-aligned any longer. We were leading very different lives with different types of people, so I felt the end of the friendship was nearing.  But because we had a heart connection and a past together, things lingered. 

💠 We met by the river for a drink on a warm Saturday. Our aim was to discuss this situation, seemingly caused by her and hurtful to a number of us. I genuinely wanted to give this conversation and maybe the friendship a chance. I realised I still cared about her and a part of me hoped maybe there was a way out. However, I also felt like she had crossed a core boundary. And I was going to be fully transparent about that. 

💠Throughout the conversation I made an extra effort to remain conscious. I was calm, collected, and rational. I listened attentively. I asked the questions I wanted to ask. She answered them and explained her side of the story. But she came across flaky and her answers seemed to have no basis. I told her that I was confused as her responses did not add up. Her words, and her behaviours did not match. And I did not feel I could trust her. She looked at me with pleading eyes and said :  “Forget about my words Oz. Forget about my behaviour. What do you ‘feel’? You know me.”  

💠 I was baffled. She seemed to accept no responsibility for her actions and how confusing they were. "She must be kidding." I thought. I really could not fathom that someone who had known me for a long time could think I would be so gullible. 

The strange thing was while my mind was alarmed, swiftly putting all the evidence together, when I was asked to focus on how I ‘felt’; a form of lightness combined with serenity filled my heart.  It was as if something was whispering in my ear: "You have got to listen to this. You are overlooking something. The situation does not add up on the outside. But it is not ‘the truth’ of the situation"

The conversation then hit a big block and I felt like ending it would be the right thing to do. We let each other go. I never saw her again. It felt sad to be in the grief process afterwards, but I decided it was for the best. 

💜 Two years ago, during an online class, an attendee presented us with a similar story, which made me reconnect with that past moment. Whether my friend’s message on that day was conscious or not, I understood what she meant for the first time. She meant ‘I know the situation does not look good and cannot be justified. But it was not meant to hurt you. And if you look into your heart, you will ‘know’ that despite how it looks I care about you and our friendship.’ 

At that moment, I knew she did. 

This brought an immediate, pleasant warmth to my heart. The gift of an important lesson was presented to me a long time ago, but I was only able to receive and integrate it now: While our minds are perfect tools to interpret the information accessed by the five senses on the surface, our hearts are able to go deeper. The heart is able to go beyond the obvious and feel the person’s own truth. I sent lots of love from my heart to hers and wished her the best. 

💜After the class I got to my computer, opened my emails. I could not believe I was greeted by a beautiful message from a fellow coach/healer who was based in South America. We had been chatting via email and she had shared a totally unrelated experience she recently had. 

Her email ended with the following sentences: Therefore, we all need to start reading the situations in our lives with our hearts more. The Heart is the Portal to the Soul.

15 views0 comments


bottom of page